GOOGLE CAN SUCK MY FEED: THE DIGITAL WAR ON SANITY
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Let me tell you about the soul-eating joy of spending 7 straight hours getting throat-punched by Google Merchant Center while trying to sell a t-shirt that says "Golf Foxtrot Yankee."
Spoiler: They didn’t love it.
Somehow, telling snowflakes to f*ck off in phonetic code doesn’t vibe with the almighty algorithm gods. Misrepresentation warning. “Policy violation.” Account under review. Cool. Let me just yeet myself into traffic while you figure out what part of “custom printed sarcasm” offends your precious ad bot.
👊 THE HEADACHE THAT CODE COULDN’T CURE
So what do we do?
We code. We rage. We caffeinate until our blood is 80% espresso and contempt.
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Built custom metafields so Google knows our raccoons are art, not threats
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Rewrote every description so it’s legal, but still gives Karen anxiety
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Re-tagged adult content because apparently “Prelubed Tee” isn’t family-friendly
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Taped our Shopify feed together with Liquid syntax, spit, and broken dreams
You know it’s bad when writing a regex filter feels like self-care.
🖕 SELLING SHIRTS IN HELL
We didn’t start this brand to play nice.
We started it because we were tired of:
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Dumb rules
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Boring fashion
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Being told to shut the hell up
KUNTS LIVE FOREVER wasn’t made for approval—it was made to offend with style.
But now we have to trick Google into letting us wear our rage in printable format.
So we clean up the listings. Add privacy policies. Play their little game.
Then we drop a shirt with a rabid raccoon holding a Molotov and call it art.
⚡ THE INTERNET IS OUR MOSH PIT
You think we’re stopping? Nah.
We’re learning their rules so we can break them better.
Every policy we “follow” is just a loophole we laced with irony.
Every tag we use is a middle finger dressed as metadata.
And every time our store goes live without getting banned?
That’s a win for the degenerate dreamers. The sarcastic soldiers. The punk-ass veterans who still believe in blowing sh*t up—digitally.
KUNTS LIVE FOREVER
Print-on-demand. Battle-tested. Digitally weaponized.
Come shop rebellion before they shut us down (again).
🖕💻💀